My hands smell like butter

This morning at breakfast I had a waffle and I had two little foil packets of butter to put on it. I only used one so I put the other one in my sweatshirt pocket. As luck would have it, I forgot about it and it melted. When I ride my bike I put my bike lock in my pocket because I have nowhere else to put it. So when I got to my afternoon class, I reached in my pocket and pulled out my lock which was covered in butter. I tried to wipe it off but as my hands were already covered in butter, I didn't do a very thorough job. I washed my hands before I went to class, but they still smelled, so I washed them again after I got done with class. Of course, my lock still had quite a thick layer of grease on it when I got back to my bike after class, so my hands became permeated once again. This cycle is going to continue until my hands slowly absorb all of the disgustingness off my lock, and it's going to be gross. And the rain won't help because it is butter after all.

GROSS!